This is an old story I read many years ago and found it endlessly inspiring. I can’t find it anywhere on the web these days so I’m posting it again here so it’s not lost.

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Well, the Wedding Day was finally here.

Carolyn had planned the wedding of her dreams in the cathedral she had been christened in.  Her bridesmaids were decked out in dresses that they swore were not ugly to her face, yet carped and gossiped about them amongst themselves.  Her quiet and stoic family was filling up the pews looking festive, yet conservative.  And somewhere off in a room in the depths of the cathedral, her fiancé (soon to be husband) Brad was in a room getting all decked out for the big event with his closest friends.

Well, not all of his friends.  Carolyn would only allow his more conservative pals to stand on the altar and be in the pictures.  She didn’t want any guys with piercings, visible tattoos or shaggy hair in her pictures in what she was confidant would be the “perfect” wedding.  As a matter of fact, she had made appointments for all of them at one of the top salons in town to get professional shaves, haircuts and (the guys couldn’t believe it) manicures that morning.

Well, it paid off.  Brad was getting ready with his best man John and groomsmen Rick, Chad and Nate and damn if they all weren’t already looking smashing-even thought they were all in various states of being dressed as they took pieces of their rented formalwear out of garment bags and tried to figure out how to put it all together.  Brad and John had known each other since their frat boy days and were investment bankers and Rick, Chad and Nate were stock brokers, so they were all used to putting a suit and tie on Monday through Friday.  But these traditional morning suits that Carolyn had picked out were a bit more formal and complicated then what they were used to.  The guys decided to help Brad get dressed first as he was the star of the show today-plus they could use him as “Exhibit A” as they put themselves together afterwards.

After some trail and error, the groom was all groomed and ready to go.  Brad looked himself over in the mirror.  The guys jovially made some catcalls at him as he admired himself.  “Damn,” he thought to himself “I haven’t looked this slick since Prom Night.”  His black shoes were shined and spiffy, the traditional gray, pinstriped trousers broke nicely on them-they did great alterations at that tux shop.  The well pressed, dove gray vest looked improbably crisp and well fitted for a rental and the blindingly white shirt was fastened with his new gold cufflinks that were a day-of-the-wedding gift from his bride.  His silver and black striped tie was tied nice and neat with a deep dimple (thanks to best-man John, who knew all sorts of cool tricks like that) and over it all was a dark gray morning coat with a nice long tail in the back.  Brad buttoned the one button on the coat and smoothed it out as it lay on the vest’s lapels.  “Wait,” said Chad as he placed a tall, gray top hat on Brad’s head.  They guys broke out in mock applause as Brad looked up at the large silk hat, worried it might mar his new haircut.   Rick said “Damn Brad…you look like you should be on the top of a wedding cake!”

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At that very moment, a male figure wearing a gray, hooded sweatshirt slipped into the reception hall and headed towards the wedding cake.  There on the top was a plastic bride and standing next to her, a groom in a gray morning suit looking just like Brad…

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Nate patted Brad on the shoulder and said, “Man, you look like a million bucks…Carolyn is gonna shit when she sees you.”  Brad wanted to smile at this thought, but a strange fear made his stomach tighten a bit.  He swallowed and tried to conceal it, but his buddies could tell there was something up.  “Aww…he’s got cold feet,” said Chad, who was placing a white linen hanky in Brad’s breast pocket-a nice finishing touch-as Rick pinned a white carnation on his peak lapel.  “No…well…” began Brad “It’s so stupid…I uh…”  “What is it?” asked John “C’mon dude, spill it!” 

Brad took a long deep breath.  “OK…I’ll tell you I guess you’re going to laugh at this, and you should because I shouldn’t let it rattle me.”  The guys continued suiting up as Brad continued talking:  “You know that guy…the weird guy who lives in the apartment next to mine?” 

“The one who says he is a Gypsy and always smells like Patchouli…didn’t you try to get him evicted for all those weird smells?” said John as he tied his tie. 

“Yeah, that’s him, I’ve been fighting with him for years…I am glad to be moving in with Carolyn after the wedding and get the hell away from him” Brad continued “So, this morning as I was heading over here he saw me carrying this suit in the garment bag and he said something like ‘today’s the big day, huh jackass?”  I tired to walk by him and ignore it, but then he jumped right in front of me and said ‘Going to get all dressed up in that nice suit, huh jackass…better not.’  So I looked at him, right in the eye…his eyes are so scary…so big and dark…believe me, I have at least four inches on him, but that look in his eyes just scares the shit out of me.  So, he gets this look on his face and says, ‘that isn’t a suit my friend…it’s just a jackass costume.  You made trouble for me, so I’ll make trouble for you…you try to get me evicted and mess with my home, I mess with your big day…I give you this warning:  As soon as I know you are all dressed-up and ready to go, I am going to make you transform and show the world what you really are, a big, smelly jackass-your suffering will be huge, and you will think again before you cross me.  But, it is the code of my tribe to always give the enemy a way out of the curse-so this is what you must do to avoid your fate:  Instead of wearing what you carry in your hand, you must face your bride in the fleece sweatshirt and jeans you are wearing, and kneel at the altar in front of everyone you know looking like a complete ass.  But, if you dress as your bride desires, you will also look like a complete ass, a JACKASS!”

The other guys were looking at Brad with a mixture of concern, bewilderment and amusement as they put on their vests and morning coats.  John said as he gave his tie knot one last nudge, “Dude, don’t let that freak rattle you…you’re just oversensitive because you’re already nervous.  And come on, the guy can barely pay his rent…if he has powers, why doesn’t he make lead turn into gold…that has to be easier than turning a dude into a donkey!  

The groomsmen laughed at this, but Brad still had a look of nervousness on his handsome face.  “Well, there’s one more thing,” he continued  “He then said some strange words…they weren’t in English…and I…I…started to feel this strange heat all over me…” Brad started to breathe heavy  “I swear I wasn’t imagining it guys…that guy did something to me…what if he can really, really…” 

“What?” said John “turn you into a donkey?”

“My god…” said Brad  “Maybe I shouldn’t wear this suit…I really think he could do it…” Brad looked at his freshly manicured hands poking out of his suit cuffs and moved over to the mirror and looked at his face, struggling to assure himself that all was well and good…and nothing paranormal was occurring.  He felt John’s hand on his shoulder once again.  “Dude,” began John “I am your Best Man and it’s my job to make sure you stay looking sharp all day, and I PROMISE, I am not going to even let your tie knot get lopsided-let alone let some freaky Gypsy guy turn you into a donkey!”

Brad turned and looked at the other guys.  Everyone looked so serious.  And then, they all realized how ridiculous and improbable the whole thing was.  First John laughed, and then they all joined in, laughing heartily.

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Back in the reception hall, the male figure took off his hood. And stared at the handsome, dapper groom figure on top of the wedding cake.  He opened his mouth and put the finishing touch on the curse he had begun earlier:

“They gather for this day of doom

Humiliation grabs the groom

Let the jackass that’s within

Grow upon his suit and skin”

On top of the wedding cake, a dark cloud started to envelop the groom.  Slowly, the plastic started to melt and meld into another form.  The distinctly human features synthesized into something animalistic as the happy, painted face upon the groom turned into a look of terror.  Soon, the face grew into a long snout and along with the rest of the body began to resemble, and then completely transform into a donkey standing right there on the cake next to the blushing bride.  Satisfied, the male figure put his hood back on and quickly left the reception hall.

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Back in the room, the guys were still laughing at the ridiculousness of Brad’s fears.  They would have probably rolled around on the floor were it not for the fact that they were all feeling stiffly appropriate in their wedding finery.  Brad threw his head back for one last, good guffaw when something unwanted, but not altogether unexpected came out of his mouth instead of a laugh:

“HEEEEEEEEEEEEE–HAAAAAAAAW!  HAAAAW, HAW, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW!!!!!”

Needless to say, the laughing from the other guys stopped dead and they stared at their buddy the groom who though dressed as if he was To the Manor Born, just made a sound like he was To the Barn Born.  Brad’s eyes bulged, his hands flew to his mouth and for a moment stopped breathing, he was afraid to move his mouth, lungs or any part of his vocal apparatus out of fear that another foreign sound would emanate.  John wanted to believe that Brad was just putting them on…or maybe it was just the power of suggestion…but deep in his heart he knew that no human being, even a professional animal mimic could have made the sound that had just come out of Brad.

Brad’s hands came down from his mouth and moved down towards his chest…somehow, the smooth feel of his tie, vest and coat soothed him like a baby blanket.  He looked down at his hands and then rushed for the mirror and once again looked at himself.  He still looked familiar, though there were some large beads of sweat pouring down his cheek and onto his shirt collar.  “Oh no…no…oh God!  Brad said as his breath started to quicken  “He’s doing it…he’s really fucking doing it…I’m turning into a goddamned jackass…HEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAW!!!!   Oh God, no..please, not now…not today…..EEEEEEEE-HAW!!!!!”

Brad turned to look towards his buddies for reassurance, but the pale, panicked expression on their faces let him know beyond shadow of a doubt that this was REAL, very real and they were just as scared as he was.  Brad felt a hot, intense itching inside his morning suit but resisted scratching it…as if admitting there was an itch would make the reality sink in further.  The itching seemed to be concentrated in his crotch, and as Brad looked down towards it he felt a jolt as his center of gravity shifted jutting his pelvis forward.  Right on the crotch, right over the fly of his trousers long, thick brownish-gray hair started to grow.  Brad let out a very small, yet still human yelp of helpless terror as the other men looked on with great intensity, scarcely believing what they were clearly all seeing with their own eyes.  In an instant, the amount of hair had doubled; then tripled…it seemed to be braiding itself into huge tubes.  Several tubes came together and formed what John instantly surmised was a large donkey cock.  The fur rooted onto his suit like it was a natural extension of the tailor’s art, as two enormous testicles descended from the shaft like grapes growing off of a vine.  There was so much fur you could barely notice the scrotum growing around the balls as the whole package lazily slipped down to the point that the balls were precariously balanced on his knees. 

A moment later, there was an adult, fully formed donkey cock attached to Brad.  And it was instantly clear that this was not the cock of some nice, domesticated donkey at the petting zoo…this was one wild beast with a constantly throbbing member, and now it clearly belonged to Brad.  Thick, gnarly fur grew all over it…and it was to the point where it was about two inches away from dragging the floor.  Brad could actually feel fleas crawling all over it as he stepped back away from it with horror.  But, to his frustration and terror the cock followed him-it was not going anywhere.  Brad’s heart was pounding wildly as it took on the added responsibility of pumping life to the huge, hairy phallus that now shared his blood. 

The groomsmen all looked on, completely stupefied.  No one seemed to know what to say.  Rick actually had the impulse to bolt from the room, but was too terrified to move.  Brad would have passed out from fear at this point…but something was keeping him conscious:  the full-on horny cock of an animal three times his size attached to his body.  The cock was huge and gross…it was already making the room smell like a barn…but it wanted attention and wanted it bad.  And the fleas were marching all over it as well, adding an itch factor. As the other guys continued to look on, Brad took matters “into his own hands” and wildly started to scratch all two-plus feet of animal hormones that grew out of his crotch.  The guy’s helpless, horrified looks now turned to looks of embarrassment as Brad’s scratching soon turned into full-on masturbating.  The scene was so strange:  The handsome, well-groomed investment banker in a full-morning suit and top hat with a monstrous donkey cock scratching and rubbing it in a frenzy with a strangely contented look on his face.  For the moment, Brad had forgotten that this was his wedding day and gleefully submitted to the pleasure and relief.  A few little, human moans came out of his mouth, followed by a:

“HEEEEEEEE-HAW!  HAW, HAW HAW….HEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWW!!!”

This great display of asinine vocal pyrotechnics seemed to announce the next level of the curse.  In a flash, Brad’s well-proportioned ears exploded with such ferocity that it made his silk top hat fly across the room.  And, where Brad’s ears had been just a moment before now grew donkey ears…a foot long each and covered with more of the smelly, matted hair.  From the way the other guys looked at him, Brad could sense that there was some new horror in the vicinity of his face.  A nervous, cautious hand started exploring his cheek and led him to the monstrosity that was growing above them.  He felt the full length of his ears, unable to believe how far up they went, his eyes grew wider and wider with each inch.  For the third time in what seemed to be hours but was in reality just a few minutes Brad ran for the mirror.  In the glass, he saw a handsome guy attached to the most ridiculous ears imaginable.

“NO!”  Brad pleaded, in hopes that his neighbor…God…ANYONE would take pity on his predicament.  “Please…make it stop…I don’t want to be a donkeyEEEEEEEEEAW!!!!!!!” 

John stepped up to Brad, hoping to be helpful, “Um…maybe it isn’t so bad…maybe we can cover this up”

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?” bellowed Brad, turning away from the mirror.  “Look at me!”  The guys could scarcely bear to look at Brad, who had gone from the epitome of dapper to the epitome of disgusting in just moments.  The stench from his cock and now his ears was stifling.  In a moment of selfishness, Nate thought with concern that the barn smell was permeating his own suit, which might hurt his chances with those bridesmaids later. 

“Come on you guys, help meOOOOOOOOOUMMMMM,”  came out of Brad’s mouth as it started to stretch away from his face, taking with it his power of human speech.  The freshly-barbered hair on his head started to grow an inch a second…his freshly-shaved cheeks soon grew furry stubble…under his chin, a furry little donkey beard grew and rested its fur lazily on Brad’s tie knot and shirt collar.   His lips started to become large and blubbery to accommodate the enormous teeth that replaced Brad’s perfect ones.  The neighbor must have REALLY hated his guts to put this curse on him…this was not “POOF! You’re a Donkey!”  This was painful.  Like getting every tooth in your mouth pulled at the same time.  But at this moment Brad was beyond bellowing (like a human, donkey or otherwise), every ounce of energy he had was focused on trying to resist the invisible forces that were bent on transforming him.

Once again, the look on his friend’s faces spoke volumes.  And once again, Brad dared to look at his reflection in the mirror.  But this time, there were no cries of “No” or “Please” for there was no human head to speak them.  Poking out of the coat, vest, shirt and tie that were rented for a human body poked out a furry donkey head.  A pathetic little “hee-haw” came out of the donkey’s, I mean Brad’s lips.  He looked at his friends, hoping for an answer or solution.  For just minutes after they were all so sure that it was not possible to turn a man into an animal, they were proved wrong.  Brad was clearly turning into a donkey.

No longer able to fight the inevitable, Brad lifted his hands to his eyes and watched as his freshly-manicured fingers extended, turned black and then became hooves.  He barely even noticed that his shiny black shoes had done the same.  He fell forward and his hooves landed on the table as his butt seemed to shoot up in the air.  Like a breeze flying from underneath and lifting the long, elegant tail of his morning coat, a long, un-elegant furry tail shot out.  The force of his new, donkey tail pushed the coat tail to the side revealing that not only was a tail growing out of the seat of his pants, but the area the tail shot out from was surrounded with fur-growing right on the fabric and out of it appeared an open, asinine anus.  Brad realized that fresh, donkey shit was flying out of his rear end but at this point was helpless to stop it, stop anything.  He was at the point where he was a perfect balance of man and animal.  His humiliation at taking on the features of a lowly, smelly barnyard animal was compounded by the fact that just moment before he looked as sharp and elegant as a man could get.  As a matter of fact, even though he was rapidly becoming a donkey, the morning suit actually still looked strangely sharp, compounding the feeling of despair as he slowly stopped looking like a groom and something a stable boy would groom.   He didn’t know if he would live out his life as a donkey, or just die from the humiliation…at least it seemed there was no way he could be more humiliated.

He was wrong.

Into the room, a man in a hooded sweatshirt burst in.  All heads, four human and one donkey and all wearing matching suits looked at whom they recognized as Brad’s neighbor.  He surveyed the situation, got a nice smirk on his bearded face and said, “Damn, that is one smelly jackass in that suit.”

John recognized Brad’s neighbor and made a leap towards him. “Ah, ha…not so fast Best Man,” said the mysterious man under the sweatshirt “You want me to do the same thing to you?” 

John stopped what he was doing and froze in horror.  Instinct stopped him from avenging his best friend and made him focus on himself as he ran towards the mirror.  Desperately, he too looked for signs of shape-shifting.  A laugh came from across the room.

“Ha!  You aging frat boys are all just pathetic cowards.  Hiding behind expensive suits and degrees…it all doesn’t matter once you become a beast!”  John, Chad, Nate and Rick all stood deadly still…not knowing if they would be the next victims of the curse.  The mysterious man continued:  “I may have a little proposition for you boys…”

Brad stood still, feeling helpless against his neighbor who fixed his gaze on him.  The gaze turned into a smirk…and the smirk turned into mean, warped hysterical laughter as he pointed at the ridiculous sight of the donkey wearing $3,000 worth of rented formalwear.  “Boy Brad…I wonder if you can get the deposit back!”  The Donkey, I mean BRAD looked to the floor in shame over his current, ghastly form.

Again, the intense gaze turned towards the men, basically every other person in the room who didn’t seem to be currently a donkey.  “Here’s the deal: I want this wedding to go on as planned, so that jackass in the corner moves out of my damn building.  Of course, he certainly can’t get up in front of All the Dearly Beloved looking like that,” with this, he indicated Brad who let out a sad, pathetic little donkey sound.

“So, I insist on a donkey in the wedding party, so you have two choices…One: one of you will have to turn into a donkey up on the altar during the ceremony to take Brad’s place…and believe me, it’s going to be just as bad as what you just saw-and in front of hundreds of people!”  This news did not seem to go over well with the guys, who all avoided making eye contact with each other.

“Or…Two:  I will make Brad retain his donkey voice, I insist on revenge and at least once I want him to make a BIG donkey sound during the ceremony.  But, the rest of his donkey gear will get split up amongst you and appear during the ceremony…John-you were so sure that you could “cover” up Brad’s donkiness-so you will grow donkey ears…don’t worry, if you are careful, you might be able to keep them under your hat.  Nate-you were thinking about screwing bridesmaids,” Nate shuddered hearing this…wondered how he read his mind “So, you grow the flea-infested donkey cock during the ceremony…if you stand in the back on an angle, hopefully no one will notice…”

Rick and Chad stood still, wondering what was in store for them.  

“Rick, you wanted to bolt from the room, so you’ll grow the hooves on your hands and feet, but it shouldn’t be too hard…people will just think the back hooves are your shined shoes and the front ones you can hide behind your back.  Chad…you were so nice to put that nice finishing touch of a hanky in Brad’s breast pocket…so you will get the nice finishing touch of a long, furry donkey tail.  If you are still, it should get hidden by the tail of your suit coat, but don’t move too much.  Also, be sure to empty your ass before the ceremony-or else you might pull a Brad and take a dump on the altar.  So, do we have a deal?”

“No way…no fucking way!” screamed Nate, as Chad and Rick silently thanked him for saying what they felt. 

“Come on you guys…we’re Brad’s friends…we can’t let him down,” quipped John, who was hiding his nervousness at the prospect of growing donkey ears; he looked at the mysterious neighbor “How long will we have the..the, um…donkey stuff?”

“You have my word of honor that once the priest says “I now pronounce you Man and Wife’ the curse will be broken and you will all return to the handsome men you are.  Although, there is nothing I can do about the smell…” Nate briefly sniffed his suit and noted that he was already smelling like a barnyard.

“Oh, and one more thing…to bring back Brad to his handsome self, all four of you are going to have to get off his donkey cock while I watch!”

They all grumbled at this, but resigned themselves to the task.  Four handsome, elegantly attired men busied themselves with caressing the long, and now pulsating hard donkey cock that was attached to their friend.  Slowly, subtle changes occurred in Brad…his tail started to shrink back into the seat of his pants, his face and teeth started to shrink.  Fur started to melt away revealing his flesh as his ears returned to normal.  Hooves gave way to show and hands and shoes-but the cock was still there and hard as a rock.  Brad had been through countless, intense humiliation and horror in the last ten minutes-but nothing compared with having his four closest friends getting him off; the men where disgusted with the task-agreeing to stand-up for a buddy’s wedding should NOT include this sort of thing.  With a human-sounding moan a huge jerk a gallon of hot, fresh donkey jizz squirted out of Brad…they all aimed it away, avoiding getting it on their formalwear.  And just like that, the donkey cock sucked itself right back into Brad’s crotch and his zipper once again. 

Brad one last time rushed to the mirror and looked at himself  “Oh God…it’s me…it’s meeeeEEEEEEEEHAWWWW!”  Amazingly enough, Brad was still surprised at his donkey voice-he had almost forgotten that he still had it.  He gave himself a once-over…damn, the suit still held up-even with all of the fur coming and going and growing on it.  His tie knot was now pretty lopsided, but that was easily remedied.  His crisp shirt was now soaked with sweat, but he would have to deal with that.  Alas, his carnation was now wilted from the intense stench of donkey smell that had wafted all over him.

“Damn!”  Brad said in a shockingly matter-of-fact, normal tone “Carolyn is going to be pissed about my boutonnière!” 

“Dude,” said an exasperated John “How do you think she’s going to respond to her male wedding party members growing donkey appendages?”

“Well…” said Brad  “If WeeeeeeeeeeeHAWWWWWWW are careful, she won’t know.”

“But the smell…this fucking smell…” said Nate, franticly sniffing himself; momentarily forgetting the fact that he would soon be growing a donkey dick.

It was then that they noticed that Brad’s neighbor had disappeared.  All that was left in his wake was a bottle of patchouli oil.  There was a note that read, “Guys…trust me, you NEED this!”

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A string quartet played The Wedding March as five VERY nervous-looking, handsome, dapper men took their place on the altar.  From the rear of the cathedral, Carolyn appeared.  All eyes looked away from the men and towards Carolyn.  It was at this moment, the curse once again worked its evil handiwork:

As soon as John felt a strange sensation, he held onto his hat.  Huge, hairy ears sprouted out from around the brim.  Working quickly, John stuffed two, one-foot ears into his silk hat and prayed that it would stay still for the ceremony.  He heard painful moaning emanating from Nate as a disgusting, hairy donkey cock grew from his crotch.  John could almost swear that the one Nate grew was a good foot longer than the one Brad had-and oh god-the SMELL!  Across the altar the bridesmaids started to wonder what the horrible stench was.  Nate’s cock was still growing, it actually hit the floor and the scrotum filled with what seemed to be bowling balls went almost to his ankles.  John moved back a half a foot putting his tailcoat in front of John’s crotch, praying that no one would notice. 

A quick blast of wind blew up Chad’s tailcoat and a moment later, a long, furry donkey tail grew out of the seat of his trousers and joined Nate’s cock lying on the floor.  Rick stood stoically by as his hands and shoes became hooves.  As if trying to appear devout and appropriate he put his arms behind his back and looked the epitome of elegant as he prayed that no one would detect the donkey hooves sticking out of the cuffs of his trousers.

Carolyn has almost approached the altar, glowing radiantly.  The randy priest checked out the groomsmen as was his custom and took an immediate shine to John-who was in fact the most handsome man in the room; including Brad.  The priest’s own little cock hardened when he noticed how HUGE John’s ears were…”you know what they say” he though to himself…

Carolyn reached the altar and in the excitement, Brad completely forgot about his donkey troubles.  Carolyn was wondering why it smelled funny in the cathedral…sort of like the Renaissance Fair-old Hippies and animals.   They slowly and devoutly went through their vows…Brad at this time had forgotten the curse that still lay in his voice box.  His groomsmen and best man all stood perfectly still throughout-one false move and everyone would see their humiliating appendages.  As the big moment came, a mysterious figure in a hooded sweatshirt entered from the back and watched.  It was now Brad’s turn to say, “I do.”

Brad smiled, so handsome and elegant in his formalwear confidently opened his mouth and said:

“HAAAAAAAW!!!!  HEEEEEHAW!!!! HA (snort) HA (snort) HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!”

The braying shook the dome of the cathedral and echoed.  Carolyn stood frozen in shock.  The bridesmaids all looked at each other, though strangely, people noted that the Groomsmen did not move an inch.  Though Nate wanted to-desperately!  It seemed like an army of fleas was holding war games inside the fur that was matted all over his disgusting cock…hot damn, he wanted to scratch!

And then once last “HAAAAAAAAAW!” and Brad got a hold of himself. And once more, in horror his hands flew to his mouth.  He stopped, corrected his posture, smoothed over his the front of his formalwear, straightened his necktie, cleared his throat of donkiness and said with confidence “I DO!!!!”

The priest quickly said “I now pronounce you Man and Wife; you may kiss the bride” before any more strange shenanigans could occur, and in an instant the donkey appendages on the men returned from wherever they came.  A humiliated, though relieved Brad kissed a still-shocked Carolyn who thought to herself, “My God…what happened to Brad’s breath…it smells like the worst animal breath I have ever smelled!”

Over in the reception hall, the donkey on top of the cake once again became a handsome, smiling groom.

The Groomsmen gave themselves a once-over, thrilled that their donkiness had disappeared…for good…

Or had it?

In the back of the cathedral, a hooded figure hid behind a pillar as a fully human and handsome Brad swept by with his shell-shocked bride.  The figure thought “You know…I never said I wouldn’t transform these guys in the future…all of them off in the Financial District…all suited up and looking slick…cocky…oh imagine the possibilities…”