Note: Avid readers will recognize some themes in my writing that I return to over and over:

• I’m fascinated with how people lie to themselves, mostly to protect their egos. We all do it; it’s called denial and usually it’s more of a white lie than a bald-faced one. In this story, the main character is particularly adept at lying to himself.
• I love to put characters in crazy situations that are presented as perfectly normal. The fictitious Personal Protection Policy–a new requirement for rookie hockey players that ostensibly prevents injuries and reduces liabilities–is just such an example. It’s totally ridiculous and yet, in the story at least, it’s presented as being perfectly reasonable. Even though I strive to keep my political beliefs in the background of my writing, you could interpret this as commentary on current events. I feel like we’re being gaslit into believing that ridiculous and barbaric acts are completely reasonable. Unfortunately, in real life the experience is far less entertaining than in my fiction.
• It may not be immediately obvious but my love of satirizing gender and sexuality norms is actually related to Theme #2 above. Often, we’re so thoroughly marinated in delusional beliefs about what it means to be a man or a woman or to be straight or gay or bi or whatever that we don’t step back and laugh at how ridiculous the whole premise is. This is why I pick typically macho guys and put them into humiliating situations that confront and twist their ideas about themselves.

Quick Links:

• Chapter 1 – Scroll down!
• Chapter 2 – Posted 15 February 2026
• Chapter 3 – Coming soon!

***

Chapter 1

Jason Tullis was finishing his assistant coach duties for the evening when he discovered the locker room wasn’t empty. Hockey practice was long over and the place was normally empty by now so he was a little annoyed when he found the team captain, Dave Briggs, still getting dressed. The dude was slumped on a bench in front of his locker, still clad in his sweaty gear. 

“How long you been here, Chief?” he asked, doing a decent job at concealing his annoyance. “I’m closin’ up here.”

“Wah? Huh?” Briggs jerked upright and Jason realized he’d been napping. His homely face broke into a gap-toothed grin, though, when his gaze landed on Jason’s significant bulge and he drawled, “Oh, hey there, Tullis. How’s it hangin’?”

Jason’s lip wrinkled. Briggs was the oldest member on the team, being well into his thirties. Yet, even though he’d been playing hockey longer than Jason had been alive, he still managed to be one of the strongest guys on the ice. Not that Jason cared much; his hockey ambitions had soured after he found out about the league’s new ‘Player Protection Policy.’ His refusal to abide by the PPP meant his contract was voided and now he was making do as a lowly assistant coach. The problem was that he loved hockey so much that he couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Fuckin’ NHL and their fuckin’ PPP! he thought bitterly for the millionth time. I’d be pro right now with my own fuckin’ locker right next to Chief’s!

Realizing Chief was still waiting for him to reply, he grumbled, “Low and in the inside, dude.” He glanced down with distaste at Chief’s bare lower half. Before nodding off, Briggs had managed to tug off his skates, shin guards and hockey pants and was now sitting bare-arsed on the bench. “Unlike yers right now. You almost done here? I gotta get home to Bixbeau.”

“Bixbeau?” Chief repeated before understanding dawned on him. “The rookie? You and him live together?”

“Yeah,” Jason admitted before adding, “more than live together…if you know what I mean.”

Chief did know what he meant because his face wrinkled into a sly grin, “You dawg.”

“Hey! It’s not by choice,” Jason protested, lifting his hands in the air. “I’m straight. Fuck! We’re both straight. But now that they…did that to him…” His voice trailed off. He was too furious with the NHL to complete the sentence.

Chief had no such qualms, though. “Ha!” he chuckled, “The ol’ P.P. Policy took his pee-pee, huh? Poor fucker. Though I bet yer not complainin’ too much.” He smiled dreamily, scratching a hairy armpit. “Not with that ass of his. Or should I say hers?”

Jason clenched his jaw, spitting, “You know what? Fuck you! Fuck you to hell! Yer no better than the rest of the old-timers on the team. You wouldn’t say that if it happened to you! Yer lucky ‘cuz you joined before that fuckin’ PPP turned every rookie into a fuckin’ Shane Hollander!”

Chief was unconcerned by his hostility. Shrugging his hulking shoulders–made even more hulking by his shoulder pads, he commented drolly, “Bet yer not too broken up ‘bout bein’ his Ilya Rozanov, though?” He shivered theatrically, “Must be fun fucking that big, meaty arse of his every night! God! I’d be in heaven!”

“It’s hairy and stinks like a barn,” Jason growled. “And I’m straight. Didn’t you hear that part? The last thing I wanna do is fuck him up the butt.” He held out his hands helplessly, “But what choice do I have? He’d be a fuckin’ mess if I didn’t! And your precious team would lose. Can’t have that! No sacrifice is too big as long as you keep on winning.” He shook his head in disgust, “I oughta get combat pay for what I do!”

Chief was having none of it. “Oh, boo hoo. You poor thing!” His gravelly voice was laden with sarcasm. “It’s yer team, too, ya know. If we lost, you’d be out of a job so don’t gimme that bullshit ‘bout playin’ the martyr. Yer protectin’ yer job by fuckin’ that big ol’ slut butt and havin’ a great time while doin’ it, I’ll wager, despite all yer complainin’.” He stood up, scratching his nut sac as he looked around at his things strewn around the bench and floor. “You sure got it tough, dontcha?”

Fed up with being goaded, Jason gave him the finger and stalked off, saying over his shoulder, “Go fuck yerself. And clean up after yer done. I’m goin’ home!”

“Tell yer little girlfriend I said I’d take her off yer hands if ya ever get tired of her,” Chief called out behind his back, chuckling to himself.

It took every ounce of Jason’s self-restraint not to turn around and punch him. The fuckin’ Player Protection Policy! he raged inwardly. It’s fuckin’ ruined hockey and my life, not to mention Bixbeau’s!

***

Wearing just a threadbare t-shirt and a provocative pink G-string, his friend-recently-turned-lover, Justin Bixbeau, was beside himself by the time Jason got home. “What took you so long, Babe?” he whined, clinging to him and kissing his cheeks furiously. “I was so worried!”

It had been months since Bixbeau’s ignominious transformation at the hands–and scalpel–of the team physician but it never failed to shock Jason when he saw him. Bixbeau was completely unrecognizable from his former macho self. Oh, above the waist, he still looked basically the same–brawny, bearded and butch as fuck, a total hockey stud who put lesser men to shame. It was only when you looked below the belt and he opened his mouth that you realized the extent of his feminization. 

Hearing that high-pitched squeal coming out of the mouth of such a manly dude and seeing that empty crotch and giant booty was…well, it was a huge mind fuck, that’s what it was. It made Jason want to hunt down every one of the stupid suits at the NHL corporate headquarters who’d devised the vicious PPP. What the fuck were they thinking? It didn’t matter that they’d hiked the player’s salaries to compensate them for the humiliation of undergoing the procedure. It was still fucking sadistic! He could only thank God that he, by total dumb luck, had avoided the same fate. This guilt–the remorse he felt for escaping the scalpel–was what kept him close to Justin and why he did things his old heterosexual self never could have imagined a few months ago.

“Babe?” Bixbeau lisped, sensing his stormy mood. “What’s wrong? You Ok? Did sumthin’ happen at work?” 

He pressed closer and his rich, masculine scent filled Jason’s nostrils, further fucking with his addled mind. How could someone with a girl’s voice, a girl’s clit and a girl’s booty smell so masculine? 

Justin’s musky scent made him want to gag. He wasn’t into guys and he especially wasn’t into guys with body odor! It was only with herculean effort that he didn’t push his friend away. Instead, he gritted his teeth and forced himself to return Justin’s hug. It’s not his fault, he reminded himself. He didn’t ask for this! I have to be a good friend and give him what he needs.

“No, everything’s fine,” he murmured, lowering his lips to kiss Justin on the forehead. “I feel better now that I’m with you.” It wasn’t a complete lie; he did really like Justin a lot; he just didn’t enjoy fucking him and he found his feminized body completely repugnant.

Justin was unconvinced. “You sure, Babe?” He reached up to knead Jason’s tense shoulders. “My big, strong man seems like he’s on edge.”

“I’m fine. Really.” Jason gave him a somewhat wooden smile. “I don’t wanna talk ‘bout it.”

“Well, Ok.” Justin stood on his tiptoes and lifted his mouth to kiss him.

Even though only a moment ago he’d kissed Justin on the forehead, thereby inviting this more intimate contact, Jason had to resist the urge to push him away. No matter how often he did it, he couldn’t get into kissing a man! Bixbeau’s beard chafed his lips and his face was rough compared to a woman’s! Still, he loved Bixbeau–platonically!–and knew that this new…lifestyle…was even harder on him than it was on Jason. After all, Bixbeau didn’t ask to be turned into a girly freak! 

He’d only just started to respond to Bixbeau’s affections when Justin surprised him by bending down, unzipping his jeans, pulling out his cock and sticking a needle in it.

“OUCH!” Jason complained, cradling his aching member. “Why’d you do that?” When Justin hung his head, ashamed, he softened, “Oh, I get it. You can’t wait for Viagra to kick in, huh?”  Justin nodded shyly, gazing up at him through long, blond eyelashes. Jason chuckled, catching him by the chin and kissing him again.

It was always the same thing before sex, either Viagra or Edex. As a straight guy who wasn’t geared toward finding men sexually attractive, Jason had to pop a lot of erectile dysfunction drugs to get hard and keep Bixbeau’s insatiable appetite for cock in check. This cock-lust was another side effect of the NHL’s PPP; all the rookies craved cock and would go crazy if they didn’t get it. Most of the time, though, Justin wasn’t this ravenous and Jason would simply swallow a Viagra and they’d wait for it to kick in before having sex. Edex was especially fast-acting and thus reserved for those ‘dick emergencies’ when Justin couldn’t wait one more minute to have Jason inside him.

His dick started tingling and he looked down at it, eyebrows lifting. He’d forgotten how fast Edex worked! He was already getting hard! 

Justin noticed, too, and gazed hungrily at his erection. He licked his lips before forcing himself to look away, apologizing, “I’m sorry, Babe. I shoulda asked permission first.” 

Jason smiled, drawing his friend’s bulky, muscular body against him. “It’s Ok. I get it. You need dick.”

They kissed again and Jason imagined he was kissing a buxom woman with soft lips in order to get into it. He opened his mouth and tongued Justin’s lips before thrusting deeper into his mouth. Justin clutched his shoulders, digging his fingernails into his shoulders. Soon, the feminized jock had hiked up his t-shirt and pulled down his thong, inviting Jason to hoist him up into his arms. Jason obliged, intent on getting this over with, and soon he was squatting down and arching his back as Justin took his dick in hand and guided it into the moist crevice between his legs. The lil’ cockslut moaned with wanton delight as Jason’s cockhead rubbed against his buried nub.

“Fuck!” he cooed like a baby pigeon. “Oh, fuck! Fuck me, Jasey! Fuck me hard!”

“Ungh!” Jason moaned, thrusting deeper as he realized the experience felt better than usual. It took him a moment to figure out why. When he did, he exclaimed, “You shaved yer pussy!”

“It’s not a pussy!” Bixbeau pouted before letting out a happy chirp as Jason’s superior manhood filled his not-pussy-that-was-very-much-like-a-pussy to capacity. Breathless, he panted, “And, yeah, I did shave myself.” He lowered his head, kissing Jason on the neck. “I know you like me smooth…like a woman.”

Jason answered by carrying him into their bedroom and throwing him down on the bed where he proceeded to ravish Bixbeau’s shaved non-pussy before rolling him over and doing the same thing to his man cunt. Bixbeau’s voluptuous cakes–shaved smooth as a woman’s just like his non-pussy–were what finally sent him over the edge and, unlike most times they had sex, he came in a molten climax, spewing cum deep in Justin’s rectum while he shrieked like a little bitch in heat.

They fell back on the bed afterwards, not bothering to clean up. Jason lay on his back; his erection undiminished thanks to the Edex, and Justin lay on his stomach, the giant mounds of his ridiculous buttocks piled up on top of him. If Jason wasn’t seeing it with his own eyes, he’d never believe a dude could have an ass like that! He suppressed a shudder, thinking, There but by the grace of God go I. Thank goodness I didn’t get the PPP procedure done on me!

Bixbeau was studying his face, “What are ya thinkin’ ‘bout, Babe?”

Jason cracked an eyelid and smiled back at him, “Nuthin’. Juss how hot you are, that’s all.”

Bixbeau rolled his eyes, “Liar. I know you hate how I look as much as I do.” He sighed, “I used to be–”

“Stop it,” Jason ordered. “Don’t say it. You’re beautiful the way you are now. So beautiful.” Even as he uttered the words, he wondered, Does a lie become true the more I say it? Nonetheless, he was intent on playing the role of the attentive lover and gamely reached over to move a sweaty lock of Bixbeau’s blond hair away from his eye, adding, “And handsome. Ha! You got the best of both worlds, Baby. Yer a big stud and a–”

“Big slut?” Bixbeau finished for him, lips curving.

“That’s not what I was gonna say.” Jason sat up on his elbows, keenly aware of Bixbeau’s eyes fixed on his still-gooey cock. “Thanks for shavin’. That was real thoughtful of you.”

“Like I said, I know what my big man likes.” Bixbeau was inching closer to him on the bed. Soon he was up on his knees, straddling Jason’s waist and pleading, “Fuck me again, Jasey! I gotta have you inside me! I can’t stand it!”

And so Jason fucked his best friend for the second time that night. They didn’t stop there. It wasn’t until they chalked up another half dozen fucks on their scorecards before the Edex finally wore off. Exhausted, Jason was about to get up and take a shower when Bixbeau surprised him by grabbing his dick and injecting it with more Edex.

“What the fuck, bro?!” he exclaimed, looking down at his overused cock. It was already chafed raw from so much sex. “Yer still horny?”

Justin shook his head. “No, I’m done…for now. But–” He was cut off by the sound of their Ring doorbell. 

“Who the fuck is that?” Jason asked, casting a confused look in the direction of the front door. It was already after ten o’clock, high time they got to sleep.

Justin lifted his hands helplessly, explaining, “I, um, mighta tole the rest of the rookies that you would, you know, service them tonight, too.”

“You what?!” Jason shouted, both outraged and embarrassed. “What am I? The team’s personal stud horse?” But it was too late; the Edex was already taking effect. His cock–red and sore–was rapidly filling with blood and soon he was hard as a rock once again. Rather than feeling good, though, it hurt. He’d never been this hard for so long before!

Justin’s expression spoke volumes. Without saying a word, his face said, You’ll do it because you owe it to us. You didn’t get PPP’d! 

Jason sighed, resigned to his fate. “Just make sure they douche their buttholes first,” he grumbled. “I don’t want shit on my dick.”

Justin gave him a sour look before getting up off the bed. Turning his voluptuous, female bottom to Jason, he bent over and stepped back into his G-string before sauntering out of the room. As he did so, cum leaked out of his asshole and trickled down his shaved thighs. 

Jason watched those huge, freshly depilatoried ass cheeks slapping wetly behind him. That clapping is new, he thought. Apparently, Justin’s ass hair had dampened the sound of those big, floppy cakes and now that his ass was smooth, there was nothing to keep them from applauding audibly with each step. A moment after Justin and his buttocks disappeared from view, Jason heard him inviting his fellow rookies into their apartment, “He’s in there, Ladies, ready and waiting for you!”

He clenched and unclenched his fists, unhappy at being forced to breed so many heifers in one night. Why the fuck can’t they find somebody else to fuck ‘em? he wondered, marinating in self pity. There must be gay guys out there who would jump at the chance! He paused, remembering his interaction with Chief. What about him? He said that he’d gladly fuck Justin if I ever got tired of him. Hmmm…

It only took him a moment to realize this brilliant idea was a nonstarter. There was no way that Justin would ever let Chief fuck him! Like the other feminized rookies, Justin hated the old-timers on the team simply because they hadn’t been subjected to the humiliation of the PPP. Still, it did beg the question why Jason was the one they’d selected to be their stud horse. He resolved to ask Justin about it afterwards; he’d just have to be careful about the time and place of the questioning because he didn’t want to start a fight. Oh, God! Justin can be such a bitch when he’s mad! I don’t want that!

Justin was already prickly enough as it was, yet another female attribute he’d picked up since his alteration. It’s like he’s always PMS-ing, Jason thought ruefully. Living with Justin was almost like living with a chick. The only problem was he wasn’t a chick, at least not in the ways that Jason wanted him to be. He didn’t have a rack for one–Jason really loved a pair of big titties!–and then there was all the facial and body hair. Ugh! So gross!

Thus absorbed in thought, he stood and wiped off the aftereffects of sex from his body with a cum rag.  In the next room, he heard the rookies drawing straws as each vied to be the first to enter the ‘bridal chamber’. Hearing the eager female voices bickering about getting fucked made him hunch his shoulders in embarrassment even as his engorged dick throbbed expectantly between his hairy thighs. 

The lucky winner turned out to be Rodrick Tewes, a very handsome African-American man with tight curls and an equally tight body…with the exception of his soft, pliant bootycheeks, of course. Being a black guy, he was somewhat of an anomaly in professional hockey but he came by the game just like everyone else: He was from Rochester, New York, where the love of hockey was in the water.

The rookie opened the door, eyes widening as he took in the sight of the very naked and very aroused Jason. There was a startled pause before Rodrick–infamous for his bluntness–demanded, “What the fuck’s wrong with yer dick, Hon?”

Jason sighed, “That’s what Edex and lotsa sex’ll do to a guy.”

Rodrick’s eyes narrowed skeptically. “That ain’t ‘cuz of no Edex and sex, Gurl. Yer pecker’s all fucked up!”

Jason jumped, “What?! Oh, yeah. Shit, that’s right! You haven’t seen me naked before!” He resisted the urge to cover his erection, explaining, “I, um, had myself modified…for Justin.”

“Modified? For Justin? WTF?!” Rodrick was transfixed by the sight of Jason’s penis and not in a good way. He took a tentative step closer staring down at it. Like Justin, he was wearing just a pair of pink panties, the requisite underwear for all rookies, and his bare skin was shiny and silky smooth in the soft light. Furrowing his brow, his eyes never left Jason’s cock. “Modified how?”

Jason shrugged, “I got circumcised ‘cuz Bixbeau don’t like foreskins.”

“That ain’t what I mean and you know it.” Rodrick was looking distinctly green as he eyed Jason’s pecker. “Why’s it so fat?”

Jason could feel his shoulders growing hot. “I, uh, you know, had it…thickened…‘cuz it looked weird after they snipped my foreskin. Only a little bit, though. Bixbeau likes a fat cock.”

Rolling his eyes, Rodrick observed, “That’s more than a little bit, Gurll! It looks like yer hiding a fuckin’ football between yer legs! And why’s it pointin’ down at the floor? Why ain’t it stickin’ up in the air like a normal dick? I ain’t never seen a hardon hang down like that before.”

Jason sighed again, this time with annoyance. “That’s ‘cuz I asked the doctor to cut the suspensory ligament.”

“The what?”

“The suspensory ligament,” Jason explained through gritted teeth. “It’s what holds the dick up.”

“If that’s so, why in fuck’s name would ya wanna cut it?”

Jason rolled his eyes, “I didn’t cut it, the doctor did. And he did it ‘cuz I asked him to. Or more like ‘cuz Bixbeau did.”

Rodrick put his hands on his wide hips, “Why the fuck would you go and do a stupid thing like that?” 

“I don’t know!” Jason replied, flustered. “Bixbeau wanted it longer, I guess. Like I told you, after being circumcised and thickened, it was pretty short, even shorter than before.” When Rodrick continued to gaze at his dick with distaste, he grew defensive, “I’ve always been small down there and Bixbeau needs a dick big enough to, um, you know…?”

Rodrick crossed his arms, “No, I don’t know. Really, I don’t.”

“Oh, fuck you! You do, too!” Jason’s face, neck and shoulders were bright red by this point. Rodrick’s reaction to his modified manhood was making him feel like a total freak. “Your ass is just as big as his! For you to get fucked properly, a dick’s gotta be long enough to reach–”

Rodrick held up his hand, cutting him off. “Stop. Don’t say another word, Gurl. I don’t wanna hear it.”

“Why not?” Jason challenged, his pride injured. “What’s wrong? Are you ashamed?”

Rodrick refused to answer and instead shivered as he continued to fixate on Jason’s cock, “Jesus, it looks freaky.”

At that moment, Jason made the critical mistake of looking down at his cock. In doing so, it was like he was viewing it through Rodrick’s unvarnished gaze, the gaze of someone who had never seen a dick like his before. The experience left him feeling profoundly shaken. 

He massaged his brow. Fuck. Oh, fuck! What had he done to himself?! 

Each modification had seemed innocent on its own but, seeing the cumulative effect of all the surgeries, he had to admit the result really was freakish. For starters, his dick was ridiculously fat around the middle and super tiny–almost pointed–at the tip and base. Worse, even fully erect, it dangled lifelessly between his legs. And perhaps most egregious, even with the ligament severed, it was barely five inches long…much shorter than it was wide.

Rodrick was right.

It looked like he had a miniature football between his legs. 

Humiliation made him lose patience and, pointing at the door, he ordered, “If you don’t want me to fuck you, juss leave. I didn’t ask for this abuse!” 

Rodrick pursed his lips, rocking back on his heels. “Nah, I’ll stay. I really need my hole packed, even if it is by a Nerf football.” Despite this proclamation, though, he continued to wrinkle his lip at Jason’s ugly cock. “I just never thought I’d be letting a short-dicked white guy stick it between my legs. Before the PPP, my cock was more than twice as big as yours and just as thick. Naturally thick, that is.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Save it for somebody who cares, OK?” Jason was over having his manhood impugned. “Do you think I asked for this?” He gestured to encompass his bloated, deformed penis. “The answer is no. I did this for Bixbeau. I did it to make him happy! I figured it was the least I could do after what the NHL took away from him. Now shut the fuck up and let’s just get this over with.”

The rawness of his tone snapped Rodrick out of his critical mood and he softened, brown eyes looking extra big in his face, “I’m sorry, Gurl. Really! I didn’t mean to–I mean, I appreciate what you’re doing…for Bixbeau and the rest of us rookies. Yer not like nobody else I know, so willing to, um,” he pointed at Jason’s freaky penis, “do all this juss for yer bro, ‘specially ‘cuz yer straight.”

“Damn right,” Jason grumbled, reaching out to pull down the string of Rodrick’s lacey panties and expose his (blissfully) shaved pussy. “Now let’s fuck. I still got five more rookies after you.”

***

He was completely worn out by the time he’d satisfied the last of the rookies. His dick was even more swollen-looking than usual and the skin was fiery red. Unfortunately, this only made it look uglier and he frowned down at it critically.

Rodrick must have warned the other rookies not to say anything because none had said a word about his freakish member when it was their turn. Still, he wasn’t stupid. He’d see the disgust flit across their faces before they schooled their features. More than a couple had stifled a laugh. The experience had left his masculine pride profoundly shaken. If not for the Edex, his erection would have withered up to nothing.

Shit. Shit. Shit. he thought, unable to stop obsessing even as he fucked the last pussy. What have I done? And can I undo it?

Staring down at his member, he realized he didn’t have any choice. He had to fix his dick if he ever wanted to live a normal life. He wasn’t married to Justin–God forbid!–and wanted to marry a woman someday to bear his children. In order for that to happen, he had to make sure that he was proper stud material which meant ensuring his dick wasn’t the laughingstock of womankind.

Fuck! He couldn’t believe that until tonight he’d thought the modifications had increased his manly status when the reality was the exact opposite. Now, as he gazed unhappily down at the thick blob of flesh between his legs, he saw his cock for what it truly was: An ugly freak of nature.

At that moment, Justin interrupted his spiral of self-recrimination by sashaying into the bedroom and letting his nightgown tumble to the floor at his feet. Naked, he curled up beside him, wiggling his huge buttocks up against his crotch and swallowing his aching (and freakish) member within their soft folds. “Thanks, bro,” he whispered as Jason hesitated before wrapping him in his strong arms. “I appreciate you and so do the other rookies. Yer the best!”

Jason didn’t reply. He was privately simmering with resentment toward his friend. Thanks to Rodrick, he understood too late that he’d been the recipient of Justin’s revenge. His best friend that he’d known since childhood had tricked him–played on his sympathies and vanities!–and turned him into almost as much of a freak as he was himself.

As he lay there with Justin snoring softly in his arms, his temper gradually cooled and reason prevailed. He realized Justin hadn’t convinced him to get his dick modified out of malice alone. Justin was a terrible liar for one thing and couldn’t conceal his feelings for a moment. Given this, Jason knew that Justin legitimately did like the way his altered cock felt inside him. His squeals, shrieks and general theatrics during sex bore testament to this fact. But he also wasn’t above taking out his resentment on his friend. After all, Jason had successfully avoided the depredations of the PPP and remained an intact man, a very virile one at that. What unwillingly sissified jock wouldn’t be resentful in Justin’s position? To the big-butted, cuntified Justin, Jason represented everything he’d lost.

The question was what could he do to fix the situation? He needed to figure out a way to extricate himself from Justin’s clutches and undo the damage to his manhood. How to do that…well, he’d have to wait on that because right now he was too exhausted to think. 

The fatigue finally took over and he closed his eyes, falling fast asleep. Just before he drifted off, though, he resolved to rechart the course of his life. Yes, starting tomorrow he was going to become a whole new man!

***

Chapter 2

Jason never had a chance to act on his vow. It wasn’t his fault, though; Bixbeau surprised him with a fresh injection of Edex while he was still asleep the next morning. He jolted awake as his cock hardened, turning from a deflated football to a more or less erect (but still spongy) one in less than a minute.

“WTF?!” he complained as Justin pinned him on the bed and commenced squatting down onto his now throbbing cock. “I gotta get to work!”

“It’s Saturday, Babe,” Bixbeau smirked, shivering with delight as Jason’s thick prick entered his lubed-up bottom. 

Jason glared at him, struggling to break free. It was no use, though; Justin might be feminized but he was still a very muscular jock and he had no trouble keeping him in place. When he realized he was trapped, he spat, “Fuck, Bixbeau! This is rape! I don’t wanna do this! My dick hurts like fuck from being hard all night! I need a break!”

Justin merely rolled his eyes, “Just shut up and fuck me! It’s the least you can do. You know how bad I need it!”

“Oh, fuuuuuck!” Jason clutched at sheets as Bixbeau slimy ass lips enveloped his member. It wasn’t a moan of ecstasy, though; his dick really did hurt like hell.

***

It only got worse.

After a marathon fuckfest, Justin snuck up behind him while he was showering, grabbed his dick and injected more Edex, giving him another erection just as the first dose was wearing off. Jason howled in outrage as his poor penis flooded with blood. He rounded on Bixbeau with clenched fists, yelling, “JUSTIN, THAT’S ENOUGH! I NEED A BREAK!”

At that moment the doorbell rang, interrupting their fight. While Justin flounced away to answer it, Jason stood there, naked and fuming. His cock burned like it was on fire and the skin was turning purplish red. He cupped it, worried. He’d never been erect for so long before and knew it wasn’t good.

A moment later he jumped in surprise as Rodrick’s unmistakable voice called through the partially open door, “Yoohoo! You ready for me, Gurl?”

He looked up from examining his dick, “Rodrick? What’re you doing here?”

Taking this as an invitation to enter, Rodrick sauntered inside, his lip curling when he spotted Jason’s erection. “Ugh!” he pronounced. “It looks even uglier than last night!”

Jason gingerly wrapped a towel around his waist, wincing when his super-sensitive penis rubbed against the terrycloth. He pointed at the door, “Get the fuck out! I ain’t in the mood right now. I’m not gonna fuck you!”

Rodrick rolled his eyes. “Justin promised us that you were ours for the whole weekend.” He pushed inside the bathroom and reached for the towel around Jason’s waist, “You owe me another ride on their nasty fuckstick of yers, Gurl!”

“NO!” Jason backed away. “Stay away from me! I never agreed to this! I need a break! My dick can’t handle any more!”

“But yer hard,” Rodrick pointed out. “That means yer ready for some pussy.” He started to undress.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ!” Jason swore. “Don’t you get it? No means no! I don’t wanna fuck you. I don’t even like guys!”

Rodrick paused, arching an eyebrow. “Then why you so hard, Gurl?”

“Did you hear me last night? It’s not me! It’s Edex!” Jason said, throwing up his hands. 

“Edex?” Rodrick repeated, clearly lost. “What’s that?”

“It’s an erection drug for fuck’s sake! Justin keeps giving it to me!” Jason gestured down to his crotch, “That’s why I’m hard right now. Not ‘cuz I’m hot for you!” He shuddered, “I ain’t gay! I only agreed to fuck Justin ‘cuz he’s desperate for dick, not ‘cuz I wanted to!”

“What about last night?” Rodrick pressed. “You sure seemed like you was into it when you was fuckin’ my holes, Gurl. Are you tellin’ me that was all just an act?”

“What gave you the idea that I was into it?” Jason countered. “Didn’t you notice I never came once? Didn’t that strike you as weird?”

“No,” Rodrick grumbled. “Least not any weirder than that nasty dick of yers.”

Jason sighed, “Did you really think–?” His voice choked off before he could complete the sentence and then he doubled over, screaming in agony, “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! OWWWW!!! JESUS! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME???!!!”

It was his dick. It had had enough of the Edex. There was an almost audible pop as something inside it gave way. Jason’s vision washed red and he collapsed on the floor, writhing and crying out pitifully.

***

You don’t know humiliation until you have a whole team of doctors bending over your bed in the hospital staring at your penis.

Jason awoke under bright lights. He shielded his eyes, peering up at the masked faces looming over his crotch. With a start, he realized he was completely naked. “What’s goin’ on?!” he gasped, twisting on the bed and trying to cover his penis. “Who are you guys?”

“Relax,” one of the masked physicians murmured, “you’re at the hospital. You had…an accident…and your boyfriend called 9-1-1. By the time the ambulance arrived, you were in shock so the paramedics sedated you.”

“Boyfriend?! I don’t have a –” Jason’s voice choked off when he suddenly realized he couldn’t feel anything below his belly button. Panicking, he demanded, “What’s wrong? Why can’t I feel my dick?!”

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” the man said in a soothing tone. He placed his hand on Jason’s shoulder and pushed him gently back down on the bed. “Do you mind if we finish our exam? We were just about done when you came to. Once we’re finished, we have a few questions for you.”

“Is something wrong with me?” Jason demanded, lifting his head to look down at himself. When he saw that his penis was the color of an eggplant and swollen to more than twice its usual size, he sat up on his elbows, crying, “OH, MY GOD! WHAT THE FUCK–???!!!”

At that moment, someone inserted a needle into his arm and, almost before he realized what they’d done, he slumped back down. His vision clouded and he drifted away on a pleasant pink haze.

***

He stayed at the hospital for a week before they released him. It took that long for the swelling to go down and his penis’s normal pink color to return. Unfortunately, even though it healed, it was still very broken. He could barely feel anything down there at all. His poor penis was almost completely numb!

“It’s because of the priapism,” the doctor explained when Jason got up the nerve to ask about it.

“Priapism?” he repeated. “What’s that?”

“A prolonged erection that lasts more than four hours. The repeated doses of Edex gave you an erection for over twelve hours and,” he shook his head sadly, “the penis isn’t designed to be erect for that long. In the worst cases, the erectile tissue ruptures, resulting in the inability to achieve an erection.” When Jason sagged down on the pillow in defeat, the doctor consoled, “We’re not certain about anything, though, and it’s possible that, as your tissue heals, you’ll regain limited erectile function. We won’t know for a few months.”

“What?!” Jason asked, heart pounding. “What are you saying?” He looked down at his crotch, covered as it was by his flimsy gown. “You can fix it, right? The damage isn’t permanent, right?”

“If it doesn’t heal on its own, there are…interventions,” the man explained, “but that’s not really my area of expertise. We’ve stabilized your condition and done what we can for now. Your urologist will need to do a thorough pelvic exam when she sees you the next time. She’ll be able to tell you what your options are.” He smiled then and Jason realized the guy wasn’t that much older than him. “We’ve made an appointment with her office in ten days. By then, she’ll be able to determine the extent of the damage. I know it’s hard–I mean, I know it’s difficult but do your best not to worry. If you need a referral to a sex therapist, let me know.”

These words fell like bombshells all around Jason, the shrapnel piercing his already bruised and battered ego. He might have a small dick but one thing he’d always prided himself on was maintaining an erection for long periods–when he was having sex with a woman, at least. The women he’d fucked all praised him, saying he could stay hard all night. Now, though…

As the unwelcome news settled in, his eyes glazed over and his jaw went slack. In truth, his brain had stopped working after the words, “resulting in the inability to achieve an erection.” The whole week he’d been trapped in the hospital, he’d clung to the hope that the doctors would be able to help him. Modern medicine could work wonders, right? He couldn’t even let himself think that there was a possibility he’d be stuck with a useless dick for the rest of his life.

Now, however, the fragile defenses he’d, ahem, erected to protect his masculine pride came crashing down as he realized his worst fears might come true. It left him just as numb as his penis. He blanked out and only came back to himself when Justin was helping him into the car and to drive him back to their apartment.

“I’m sorry ‘bout yer dick, Babe,” Bixbeau said breezily. “That really sucks.” Oddly, though, there wasn’t the slightest hint of contrition in his high-pitched voice.

Jason sat stoically in the passenger seat, only barely able to suppress the rage simmering beneath the surface. Outwardly, he might look calm and composed but inwardly he was emotionally threadbare, the very sound of Justin’s lisp was enough to inflame him.  

“I could sue you, you know.”

Justin glanced over at him questioningly. “Huh? Why?”

Jason pointed down at his inert penis, tucked away in his jeans. “For this. You did this to me. You kept injecting me with Edex even after I told you to stop. That’s abuse, Justin, not to mention sexual assault.”

“Oh, realllly?” The sarcasm was all but dripping out of Justin’s mouth. “That’s rich, you know. Especially considering what you did to me.”

Jason sat up straighter. “Did to you?! What the fuck did I do to you?!”

“Three words, Jason: Personal Protection Policy.” When Jason fish-mouthed at him, he explained, “It’s because of you I’m like this, Jasey. All because of you.” He looked away from driving long enough to fix him with his steely gaze, spitting, “Do you think I like being like this? Did I ask to be turned into a feminized faggot freak?” He gestured down at himself, “I have you to thank for this, Jason. Only you. So you lost yer erection, so what? I’ve lost my whole fuckin’ life.” He sniffed delicately, wiping at his eyes, “I’d say that losin’ yer precious hardon is a small price to pay for your crimes.”

Jason couldn’t believe his ears. “Wait, you think I’m the one–?”

Now Justin was furious, “I don’t think, Jason. I know. And I’ll never forgive you for that.” He turned back to the road, tears streaming down his bearded cheeks. “When we get back, I want you to move out. I never wanna see you again.”

***

Justin’s whole life became numb just like his dick after that. He scrambled to find a new apartment that weekend, moving his meager belongings into a U-Haul and unloading them at the new place across town. Returning to work on Monday, he realized that he could no longer work in the same building as Justin and the rest of the rookies. They made his life hell, ganging up on him like hens in a henhouse and mercilessly pecking at him all day long, teasing him about his ruptured dick. He had no choice but to resign from his position as assistant coach.

The next couple of weeks were the lowest point in his life. He was miserable, drowning in self pity and recrimination. He knew he should be looking for a new job but he couldn’t make himself do it. Instead, he sat on the couch in his empty apartment with the curtains drawn and stared at the ceiling. He didn’t eat anything; he just didn’t feel like it. Even drinking water made him feel slightly nauseous.

He barely pulled it together on the day of his appointment with his urologist and arrived more than a half hour late. Fortunately for him, she was running behind schedule and he walked into her office just as they were looking to bring him back to her.

The doctor, Lourdes Riós, was a totally hot chick who normally got him hard just being in her presence but today she barely stirred the ghost of desire in his dormant loins. He hung his head as he entered the exam room, his ego as deflated as his dick, and she exclaimed, “Jason, you look awful!”

He grimaced, “Thanks. That’s basically how I feel.” He plopped down in the uncomfortable chair across from her, resisting the urge to cross his legs. Normally a man-spreader, these days he liked to keep his crotch covered even when he was fully clothed. “You’ve seen my charts from the hospital. You should know why.”

Dr. Riós nodded, “Yes, I have. I didn’t realize you were taking Edex without a prescription. That’s a very dangerous drug, Jason!”

Jason gave her a dark look. “Tell me about it.” When she opened her mouth to respond, he held up his hand, “And before you ask, I don’t wanna talk ‘bout it. I was stupid. I know that now and I’ve paid the price. Can we focus instead on how to fix it?” He glanced down at his crotch, “Will I ever be able to get hard again?”

***

Dr. Riós poked and prodded him, sticking God-knows-what implements in God-knows-which holes. A month ago, he would’ve been mortified but by this point he was inured to the humiliation of having his man parts scrutinized, besides he was desperate! He’d go through hell if it meant he’d get his manhood back again!

He lay back obediently, knees lifted and crotch tilted upward so she had ready access to his privates. After what felt like hours of fondling, she was finally done. He was disappointed, though, when she informed him this was only the beginning; the road to diagnosis and treatment would be a long one. After scheduling a variety of scans back at the hospital, she sent him on his way. “It’s too soon to tell anything for sure,” she said. “Once I have the test results, I’ll know more about your prognosis.”

“Will you at least give me some hope?” he pleaded, voice strained. “Is this permanent?”

“I honestly don’t know.” Dr. Riós placed a comforting hand on his arm. “Even before this, you were at risk for erectile dysfunction given all the…modifications…done to you by your previous urologist.” She pursed her lips in distaste as Jason ducked his head; it was well known that his last doctor lost his license due to the extreme procedures he subjected his patients to. Jason’s penis had basically been his plaything for experiments. Riós shook her head, “But that’s water under the bridge. What’s done is done.” With that, her face brightened,  “You can be assured I will do everything I can to help you. Until I know more, though, I can’t give you a definitive prognosis.”

It was cold comfort and did nothing to make him feel better. His nerves were shot, inflamed by worry over his sexual future and lack of career options. It was an existential crisis; in the same week, he’d received two blows to his identity that left him reeling. Hockey had been as central to his life as his hard dick had been to his sexual prowess. Now that he had neither, he felt completely unmoored. What was a dumb, limp-dicked ice jockey like him supposed to do now? 

He returned to his darkened apartment and stewed.

***

So many tests! By the end of it, more people had touched his deformed and destroyed manhood than ever before. He stopped caring when he lowered his briefs and the tech took in the sight of his equipment for the first time. He never quite got accustomed to their stifled laughter, though.

Two weeks later, he was back at Dr. Riós’ office, sitting in the waiting room with his legs crossed and a hoodie drawn up over his head. He shook his foot impatiently as he tried to distract himself by scrolling through Instagram. The miles and miles of photos of chicks with big, bouncy hooters did little to soothe his ragged emotions, though, and failed to elicit so much as a twinge of desire between his legs. 

Since his hospitalization over a month ago, he hadn’t even tried to jack off. Just pulling his pathetic pee pistol out of his pants to urinate took every bit of his will power. His libido was completely quenched! Besides, even if his desire hadn’t died with his dick, he couldn’t have gotten hard anyways. Even morning wood wasn’t possible in his condition; his penis was just a flap of useless skin between his legs. 

If he didn’t get good news today, he decided, his life was over. He might as well give up.

He was a total mess by the time he walked into the exam room. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so on edge before and had to blink back tears. So consumed with worry was he that it was a complete surprise when the nurse opened the door to the exam room and he saw another young guy seated inside. He looked over at the nurse in confusion, convinced he’d taken him to the wrong room.

“Go in,” the man instructed. “Dr. Riós is waiting for you.”

Hesitating, he demanded, “Who’s this?” 

The dude looked up at him with haunted eyes. Obviously of Latino descent, he was dressed in jeans and hoodie similar to his own and appeared to be around his same age. His legs were crossed and his sneaker-clad foot was twitching almost manically as he struggled to maintain his composure.

“Jason!” Dr. Riós’ voice called out, stepping out from behind the door. “Come on in. I want you to meet my brother Joaquin.”

“Who?” Jason’s hand paused uncertainly on the doorknob.

Riós didn’t reply right away and instead guided him by the elbow into the room, closing the door behind him. “Look,” she said, “I know this is a breach of confidentiality but I think it’s important for you two to meet each other.” Joaquin’s eyes flicked away from Jason’s face, landing on the floor, as he hunched over in his chair.

“Huh? Why?” Jason was completely lost. 

Dr. Riós gestured to Joaquin, smiling, “You wanna tell him, Tato?”

Joaquin was silent for a moment, looking from Jason to his sister. Finally, he shrugged his shoulders and pushed himself to his feet. As Jason watched, perplexed, he explained, “I think it’s better if I show him.” 

And with that he shucked his pants and underwear. His face twisted into a sardonic grin as his jeans slid down around his ankles. Never taking his eyes off of Jason, he held out his arms wide, taunting, “Mira, guapito. Mi tesoro perdido.” Jason’s mouth fell open and Joaquin’s smile turned bitter, “There. I showed you mine, now show me yers.”

“Jojo,” Dr. Riós chided. “That’s enough. You’re scaring him!” Joaquin gave her a lopsided grin before pulling up his briefs and zipping his jeans, thereby shielding his hideous member from view. Dr. Riós turned back to Jason, explaining, “As you can see, Jojo here is in the same boat as you. Like you, he damaged his penis with the overuse of Edex–”

“Hey!” Joaquin protested, “I didn’t do it! It was all Lyssa’s fault!”

Dr. Riós held up her hand, “It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. What matters is that it happened and now you have to deal with the consequences. Just like Jason.”

Jason couldn’t get the sight of Joaquin’s dick out of his head. It was seared into his retinas and made his own wilted schlong look pretty by comparison. The experience left him shaken as his pent up anxiety got the better of him. He collapsed down into a chair and held his face in his hands, “Are you saying th-th-that I’m gonna, I mean, I’m gonna be like him?”

He was only vaguely aware of Joaquin settling into the chair next to him. When the young guy moved his hand onto the back of his neck and started kneading, Jason wanted to shrug it off but, for reasons he didn’t understand, he didn’t. With that reassuring touch, he realized Joaquin was saying that he understood exactly what he was going through and, even more, that he was there for him. 

Jason’s heart warmed when he understood that he’d just made a new best friend.

He raised his head and looked over at Joaquin, meeting a sympathetic gaze. When Joaquin smiled, Jason couldn’t resist smiling back at him. He looked toward Dr. Riós, deducing, “I take it that the news isn’t good then?” He jerked his chin over at Joaquin, “I’m stuck with a useless prick for the rest of my life? Just like him?”

“‘Fraid so, bro,” Joaquin replied.

Somewhat exasperated, Dr. Riós corrected, “Jojo, you know that’s not true! There are always options for leading a healthy sexual life even with your condition.”

Joaquin wrinkled his lip, “I already tole ya, I ain’t gettin’ no implant!”

“There are other options besides implants,” Dr. Riós countered, folding her arms. 

By this point, Jason was completely lost. He held up his hands pleading, “Hey! Can we please back up? I need to know what you found out from all those tests!”

Dr. Riós was chagrined, “Oh, yes, I’m sorry! I’m not handling this very well, am I? Would you prefer if Jojo left us alone so I can go over your results with you in private?”  

Jason looked over at Joaquin and Joaquin lifted his eyebrows innocently. Jason grinned back at him, “Nah, he can stay.” Joaquin’s face lit up at these words and he returned Jason’s grin.

“Alright,” Riós continued, “I’ll be succinct: The damage is serious and the erectile tissue in your penis is completely ruined. There is no chance it will heal on its own.”

Jason was stricken. Even though this was the news he’d been dreading, nothing prepared him for the harsh reality of hearing the words directly from Dr. Riós’ mouth. He lowered his head in his hands as Joaquin’s hand found its way back onto his neck.

Riós plunged onward, laying it all out in no uncertain terms, “Your condition and Joaquin’s are the same which means you have the same four options for treatment: Do nothing, get an implant, have your remaining erectile tissue redistributed or try an experimental new drug.” She held up her finger when Jason opened his mouth to interrupt, “Before you get your hopes up, I’m afraid there are serious drawbacks with each of these options.”

Joaquin, who was already familiar with the pros and cons of each option, wrinkled his nose, muttering, “Option 1 all the way, bro. Option 1!”

“What? Why?” Jason looked from Joaquin to Dr. Riós. “The experimental new drug sounds like the best option to me.” He spread his hands, ignoring Joaquin’s groan of protest, “Will it make me hard again?”

Dr. Riós was slow to nod, “In a way. Options 2 through 4 all involve regaining some erectile function.”

“Just wait until you hear the details, bro,” Joaquin warned. “I guarantee you’ll decide that Option 1 is the best.”

“I don’t care! Tell me what they are!” Jason pleaded. “Just tell me! Other than doing nothing, what are my options?”

Dr. Riós took a deep breath, “Ok, here goes. Please be patient and listen to everything I say, though. I know the temptation will be to jump to conclusions but we have to approach this as calmly and openly as possible.” Beside him, Joaquin folded his arms and sank down unhappily in his chair but Riós ignored him, continuing, “A penile implant will allow you to achieve an erection but requires manual pumping to inflate. It’s essentially a balloon that is inserted into the penis with a mechanism to inflate it. Once fully inflated, the erection looks more or less normal and is fully functional.”

Joaquin shuddered, “Uh uh. No way! I ain’t gettin’ no plastic balloon in my dick!”

Riós gave him a dirty look before turning back to Jason. Jason’s heart was pounding in his chest and he felt like he was going to hyperventilate. Somehow, though, he managed to stammer, “A-A-And Option 3?”

“Option 3,” Riós explained, “is surgery that involves relocating the erectile tissue between your scrotum and perineum. That tissue didn’t suffer the same trauma as your penis and can still get erect.”

“That’s good!” Jason said, sitting up hopefully. “That doesn’t sound too bad!” He looked over at Joaquin for confirmation, “Right? We could get an erection again without a pump, bro! That would be awesome!”

Joaquin’s lip curled, “Just wait until you find out what the name of the procedure, bro.” Turning to Riós, he urged, “Go on, Sis. Tell him. What’s it called again?”

Riós hesitated a moment before stating, “Vaginoplasty.”

Jason unconsciously clapped his hands over his crotch, shouting, “WHAT???!!!”

Jaoquin laughed coldly, “You heard her. She wants to give us a pussy between our legs, bro!”

Riós’ eyes narrowed. “I don’t want to do anything. The path you choose is entirely up to you.” She arched a critical eyebrow at her brother, “And you’re being sexist. What’s wrong with having a vagina? I thought heterosexual men liked them.”

“Jesus,” Joaquin breathed, shaking his head. “Can you believe her, Jason? She’s a urologist and she still don’t know nuthin’ ‘bout us guys.”

Jason couldn’t help but agree. He’d seen a guy with a pussy up close–Shit, he’d even fucked said pussy!–and he had no desire to own one for himself. Looking up at Riós, he waved away the possibility, saying, “And Option 4?”

“Bro, don’t!” Joaquin said, placing a pleading hand on his arm. “Trust me! You don’t wanna hear ‘bout Option 4!”

Jason looked over at him questioningly, “Why? It’s an experimental drug but, unlike Options 2 and 3, it doesn’t involve surgery.” He turned back to Dr. Riós, “Right?”

Once again she nodded and once again Joaquin shuddered with revulsion. “You’re correct. There is no surgery required and it has been proven to be one hundred percent effective but–”

“Here it comes,” Joaquin murmured. He put his hands over his ears, whining, “I can’t bear to listen, bro. Juss tell me when it’s over, Ok?”

“Why?” Jason asked. “What does the drug do to you?”

Riós observed him for a moment before answering, “I think you’re already familiar with this drug, Jason. In fact, I believe you have firsthand experience with it. It’s the same drug the NHL started requiring new players to take under their new policy.” She paused, putting her finger on her chin, “What’s it called again? Oh, yes, I remember now: The Personal–”

“The Personal Protection Policy?” Jason finished for her, blanching when she nodded. He held up his hands, “No, thanks. I’ll pass. There ain’t no way I’m gonna take that shit!” When her face fell, he prompted, “That’s it? Those are the only four options available to me? Doing nothing, getting a balloon in my dick or turning me into a chick below the waist? Really?!”

“Yes,” Dr. Riós replied, looking a little crestfallen. “As of right now, Jason, those are your only options.” She exhaled lightly before perking back up, “But that’s only as of today. There are all sorts of fantastic new treatments on the horizon. Given the high degree of interest in curing erectile dysfunction, a lot of money is being funneled into research. If you wait long enough, I’m certain science will come up with a form of therapy that you will find acceptable.”

“But until then,” Joaquin concluded, lowering his hands from his ears, “we’re stuck with our useless pricks, bro.”

***